Author: debutont

Just a woman in search of self. Looking for meaning, direction & personal growth. Living each moment as if it were the last. Conquering fears & slaying dragons as I climb my own mountain, on my terms & forge my own path to create a life worth living. I created my blog hoping others will join me on my journey & forge their own path to pursue their lives & reach for dreams. The worlds a better place for those who have a dream.

My Life Building a Dream- Ch 12.

https://abnb.me/T1QKeqhuES
For Every End There is a New Beginning-
I officially opened my 2nd airbnb. I checked in my 1st guest on the same day I finished. It was such a relief to finally crawl over the finish line, just in time. Thank God I made it!
I have invested every last cent including my grocery money, to make this happen. I believe you must be willing to make a lot of personal sacrifices & be willing to work like a dog, for the things you want in life, so that’s exactly what I did. It took all my strength and all my will, to complete this project.
Hands down, this was the hardest renovation I have ever done. There were so many things I had to learn in order to complete this room. For the last 2 months, I have taken or given, myself crash courses, in building walls & installing electricity. I had to learn all the ins and outs of ventilation & furnace systems & the ,how to’s, of sound proofing & insulation.

Of course– no job would be complete, without the extra unexpected projects, I always manage to throw in. I swear my brain is always getting me into trouble. As if all that work I had, wasn’t enough. I had to add another job to the list.

I took Homedepots tile clearance sale, as sign from above & decided I needed to stop procrastinating the bathroom renovation that I had been putting off for years.

“If I wanted my new room to be amazing, I needed to redo the bathroom.” 😬

This project turned into a double edged sword, of twisted fate. I was almost finished tiling the shower, when my lack of tools, stopped my progress, depleted my patience & detoured me into a very long & creative tiling project. What a challenge, I thought it would never end.

Last week, you might have found me sitting in the middle of a 1/2 finished mosaic floor, giving myself a lecture on my inability to do things, the normal way.

“Why do you always have to be different?? You couldn’t just wait for the right tool. Noooo,,,you have to be creative. Now your 50 hours in, your still not done and your talking to yourself. Way to go, smarty pants.” Lol

Now that it’s over, I have absolutely no regrets. It turned out incredibly cool. It was worth every chiropractor visit. I am so happy I did it. My new bathroom is so beautiful. It was just what I needed, to enhance the unique flare, of my new room.

Procrastination is one of the things, I am constantly trying to work on, especially now. I have 3 jobs. It would be very easy for me to put things off and never get ahead.

My 3rd job, is building this dream. It is so important to me. As I watch it grow, it feels like it’s taking on a life of it’s own. As I complete each project, I look around and see that it is everything that I am. My heart, my soul, my accomplishment & my dream. I did this. I know my future may depends on its success, but it’s the strength I’ve gained doing it, that has become so important to my life. I will never doubt myself again.

Now that my 2nd room is up and generating income, I must remember to take the time to enjoy my victory & feed my heart with the other things I love, like painting & enjoying my family and friends. I must embrace the day & watch the sunset & rise. I must be gracious in my success. I also must begin to make my plans & set my goals, for the next step, Airbnb #3.

I know it sounds crazy. I just finished yesterday. I should take a rest. Believe me. I really would love nothing more. Unfortunately, my brain is already planning strategies, making a to do list and happily setting goals for next month.

my next goal is huge & I really wish it could be done right now, but I am going to have to patiently wait until I can get the money to start it. The goal is to build another bathroom on my side of the house. I am happy to rough it as long as I need, but I will be ecstatic when I can afford to put the bathroom in or at least part of it. Giving up full access to my bathroom hasn’t been that bad, but it’s definitely a character builder.

With everday that passes, I gain more respect for any man or any country, who has to go without the luxury of a working bathroom. We are sooo lucky to have this basic luxury. I have experienced a lot of funny reactions about the subject. But I’m ok with it, I know it’s going to be soooo worth it in the end & I stand strong behind my choice. I truly believe I have made the right choice.

For me, the age of retirement is coming soon. Unfortunately, my previous job in life left me financially unprepared to retire. Because of my age, I no longer have the luxury of time. If I’m going to survive my sunset years, I cant procrastinate anything. I must keep going, keep building and keep striving to accomplish something every day.

I know I have set the bar high for myself. But I can do this. I know it will be hard, I know, it will hurt, I know, I will have times of weakness; Times, I will want to quit or cry. But I won’t give up. I will reach my goal. I will build this dream & I will end up sitting in the new addition of my home, grateful for everything I have & everything I have done.

Today I tasted victory, My next airbnb is finally opened and this part of my journey has come to an end.

So, today I say goodnight, for tomorrow it’s time to begin again. It’s time to keep building a dream.

Push yourself, stop procrastinating your life, quit making excuses, get up and reach, live everyday to it fullest, your not dead yet.

Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)

Happy & Strong

I spent the first half of my life, investing energy into someone else’s dream. Happy to go through life, Working a job & doing what I was told. There were so many times; I just felt like, I was watering a dead seed; waiting for it to grow. My life path, felt like a slug trail.

I don’t know about you, but I was never really taught to dream. I was taught that, Dreams were only fantasies & life was never going to be fair. We go to work, we go to school, we get married, we have a family, we pay our bills & if we are really lucky, we might get to be happy;

Happiness, was always, a secondary need & love; that was the cherry on the sundae, that the next door neighbors had.

When that snow storm came sweeping into town, things really hit bottom. My survival instincts kicked in. It was do or die. I was alone, out of work & out of pay, for 3 weeks. That snow storm, was a godsend. I was forced to be alone. For the first time, in my life, I was given the luxury & the time to truly, listen to myself or myself(s) LOL.

When life got tough, I got the courage to start following my gut. I decided it was time, to take control. I was going to build my own dream. If I was going to fail in life, it was going to be on my terms.

“My Way!! My life!!! My fault!!!”

Once I made that decision. I was so surprised to find that, happiness, was no longer a secondary need. Infact it was one of the main ingredients, in my life. I was truly happy; down to my soul, happy.

The more I reached, the more I challenged myself, the more I succeeded, the happier my life became.

I no longer think happiness is a secondary need. I now believe that happiness is the wonderful side effect that occurs, when you live a life of substance. When you reach beyond existing, when you think for yourself, when you throw caution to the wind and forget what everyone else thinks, about you or your life. I am not talking about being selfish. I am talking about being strong & free willed. Leading your life & listening to your instincts. To become the best version of yourself.

Everyone’s heart, has a voice, telling them what to do. Everyone, has the desire to create, to be or do something. It might just be, a faint whisper, that you can barely hear; But it’s there. It’s funny, the moment you start to listen, the stronger your inner voice becomes. Things start feeling & going right. You suddenly find, that you are on the right path. As you keep moving forward; you realize all the baracades that stopped you before just start moving out of the way. Life feels easier, work seems more effortless & relaxed. You have energy & strength. Then comes that beautiful moment, when you realize, you are truly, from the depths of your soul, happy.

Not because you are superficial, but because you are strong & confident in life & in love.

Find the strength to listen, Life is telling you where to go. It’s never to late to try, Your not dead yet. Get up and reach for the rails.

Debbie Smalley ( Deb’e)

On the Positive Side

In this Dream, I crawl down a road made of quicksand. The glorious ending, turning into a mirage of sanded grout lines, caught in a storm of brilliant ideas.

The sun comes out, I take a deep breath and I smile, because I know this pain, this Hell, this struggle; Is the hell you feel, just before your about to cross the finish line of a really amazing race.

Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)