Author: debutont

Desperado- Don Henley

If my legs are working, If I’m moving forward, If I get to spend another day above ground. Then I am happy, blessed & grateful that I have been given another day, another moment, to accomplish something in this world. Good, bad or indifferent. We are all here to make a difference.

You can choose to live your life happily growing or lay around like a pile of fertilizer, about to feed the earth. Every day your here, serves a purpose.

Oxygen in, carbon out, all lives matter, even after their gone.

All species, all colors, all sexes, all worlds. We are the specks of matter, in an infinite universe, negative or positive, obliviously holding each other together or tearing each other apart.

We are and always will exist, in this world, in-spite of ourselves.

Every moment, posing the same unheard question.

Today; will I be the negative or will I be the positive force in this life.

Today I shall rise up to make a difference & reach to be the best version of myself.

Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)

Michael Bubl’e – Feeling Good

https://g.co/kgs/MXrRFX

As the world tries to distract me with its unnecessary dramas. It’s important that I breath deep, focus on my goals and not allow negative influences to overwhelm my mind or cloud my judgement.

For the last couple of months, my schedule & my life have been very hectic. I have had a lot of priorities and a lot of unexpected challenges happening at the same time. There has been no time for anything other than work. When it did look like I might get a minute to decompress, something else of great importance, would come up and steel my moment.

When I feel my patience thinning, I know it’s time for me to just stop, step back, take a deep breath & evaluate where my attitude is.

This weekend I was thankfully able to focus on organizing & cleaning, my own place.. I finally had a minute to focus on my life & fix some of the things on my todo list, that were driving me crazy.

I had a running toilet and a washer that kept going out of balance. It seems silly, but I have been trying to fix them both repeatedly, for the last two months. I was failing miserably at the task.

Everyday, these items were needlessly taking up my time, driving me crazy, and effecting my attitude.

Though it has not been diagnosed. I know that I have ADD & I think I am slightly dyslectic. I am not using this as a crutch or an excuse for failures… It’s just very important for me to be aware of it…. I know that nutrition, sleep, focus and organization, are the key ingredients, for me to stay at the top of my game. I also know that I have to be positively focused on maintaining a healthy life, emotionally, physically & spiritually.

I can’t let negative influences that are outside of my control, effect my environment. I must deal with all challenges, head on, whether they are my own or someone else’s. I can not become overly emotional.

Negative situations are happening around us all the time, with family, friends, life & work. It’s hard not to get caught up in them. But I think it’s important to be rational enough to realize, that you don’t have to emotionally own a problem, unless it is your own.

We can not fix the world or all its problems. We can only hope to positively respond to situations as they arise and manage our own lives, the best we know how.

I must strive to be the best version of myself & surround myself with a life & people that support it. I must use calm strength, love & focus to guide me in life.

On the days I find myself distracted by the negatives. I must be strong enough to get up, reach for higher possibilities and move forward into a new day.

Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)

The Clash- Should I Stay or Should I Go

There are no losers in this game of life. Unless you lay down your cards & refuse to play.

Things aren’t going your way, so you just give up, quit the game & walk away.

Humility,comes in so many forms. It is during these humbling moments, when we all have to decide.

Do we take these sour grapes in life & press them into wine or turn them into vinegar?

Do we walk away & wither? or do we stand strong, knowing, that this one of those moments; When life is not in our control. We must just let go & let life happen.

“I must be willing to be left; bent, twisted & bowing before the world? Feeling weak, humbled & lost in, indecision. I must close my eyes, as faith & endurance molds me; into another form of myself.”

I have to face my challenges head on & never give up. I must be brave. I must turn these Mountains, into mole hills.

I will remain strong, in my weakness. I will believe; I can.

I will be smart enough to stop, Patient enough to wait & brave enough to say everything works out in the end.

I will not quit!!!

For the last 2 years I have been building my business and converting my home into private entrance airbnb suites. I am on phase 3 of my 4 phase plan.

Phase 3 is going to be difficult, because I am living in the area, I am renovating. I don’t think it would be as difficult if I lived alone. But, I live with 2 helpful dogs and a very nosey cat. I’m not sure how “we” are going to get this done. I expect the next 6 months, to be the makings of a very entertaining sit com.

My plan has always been to finish phase 3, then move onto building an addition. A place that was just for me. My dream, my retirement, my solace.

Now that I’m here. I find myself hesitating. If I don’t make some changes there are going to be huge issues with parking for me and my guests.

It’s time to make a choice. Do I move forward with my addition or do I speak to the neighbor about buying her property, when she sells it in the future.

It’s very hard for me. I have been dreaming of this addition for so long. Now my brain is at a standstill. My heart does not want to abandon the idea, but there are times in life when you have to be practical.

I know that if I am patient, the answers will come. I just need to focus on finishing phase 3 & pray that the next road will reveal itself with time.

In the next couple of weeks it is my goal to approach my neighbor, about her buying house. If I can secure her property, then I will solve my parking problem & can move forward, creating a new plan.

I’m not sure what I am going to do. For the first time in two years, I find myself uncertain. I don’t know which way to go. I stand at a crossroad, as my brain spins and spins. It will not let me rest, until until it finds away.

It is during these times when I know I must be at peace in life. I must count my many blessings, have faith & be patient. I must believe that everything happens for a reason. The answers will come, if I just keep moving forward. All good things will come from this. Thankyou God!!

Don’t give up on your dreams, keep reaching & get up!

Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)

ABBA- The Winner Takes it All

Samantha Harvey- Forgive Forget

Your experiences in life aren’t about what happens to you; It’s about how you react to it. For me, there are only 2 paths in life. One leads to a life, where patience is a virtue. The other, finds me putting my hands through the phone, the computer screen or around the neck of every random jerk & deciding; Are they worth going to jail for?????

When faced with challenging situations, you have the choice; To take a deep breath, choose your words, use your wisdom, remain calm & be rational. Hoping for the most positive outcome; believing, that it will all be worth it in the end.

Or

You could, Walk the Green Mile, taking the path of least resistance & just let them have it. Give them the justifiable beating they deserve, not caring about the consequences.

It would be sooo easy!!! It might even feel good, to just dig a hole in the grove and get rid of your problem.

Lately, I often find myself, standing at the crossroads. The moment of great decision. The moment when I ask myself.

(Q.) Do I take the high road by practicing patience, acting in love & handling each situation without prejudgement?

(Q.) Do I take the time to change a negative situation, into something more positive; for everyone?

Or

(Q.) Do I take the negative situation I face and just wreck it…. just stoop to the cause & make it worse for everyone.

(Q.) Do I throw gas on the fire & turn the situation into a flaming inferno?

(Q.) Do I become so blinded, by anger and impatience , that I lose sight of who I am or who I want to be.

After re-reading this, the second path,,, though very tempting, sounds sooo amazingly destructive to my life & my goal to have a peaceful and happy life. Thank fully Forgiveness is the one thing I am very good at.

But let’s be honest; if not with others, than at least ourselves. We all have those times in our lives, when someone or something just pushes us to the edge of great decision. It’s that day, that week, that month & for some, those years; When everything and everyone in life, seems to be pushing you to break; it feels like a test, in patience.

You just want to lose it. The demons on your back, just begging you to cave in.

Do you Lose it????

You really could take that phrase literally, in every sense of the word, for when it happens, when you lose it, you often risk losing it all; Your friends, your job, your ability to have a good life. You lose, peace, love & joy; You also create a negative environment for yourself and everyone around you. You become the thing you were fighting against.

For some, losing it, is a very rare thing. It’s just a temporary lose of control, most often followed by an apology.

Then there are the others. The people who slowly slip down the low road. It is their way of life. They are truly just a bitch, about everything. They are that person who makes every moment miserable. They are the one, who makes you relieved when they leave the room. You don’t miss them when there gone & chances are, they suck the life life out of everything they touch. They are the person who makes everything worse. They are not a pleasure to be around. No one wants to help them & coincidentally their life seems like a wreck. It’s just one bad moment after another. & laughably so, they often believe it’s everyone else’s fault. They are sooo twisted by truth, in there own mind. They justify their mistakes & lack the ability to apologize or accept responsibility for their own miserable life. They are their own worst enemy.

In the last couple of months, I have been challenged with many moments of personal growth.

Last week, it was especially hard for me to maintain my patience level & practice forgiveness. I had 2 situations, that were just begging me to lose my cool. I had friends cheering me on & agreeing that I had every right to jump on the low road, become the bitch, kick some ass, dig a hole & throw them in it!!! But, I didn’t & in the end it worked to my benefit.

I had an insulation company,,,, owned by a couple of friendly likable guys (this saved their life).

We had numerous misunderstandings & miscommunications about the job, the estimate, the date it was supposed to be done. What they were doing & anything else you could think of. One guy blamed the other & vice versa. It was a challenging week.

They were half way through the job, when a “new machine that they had never used”, gave us all a lesson, in how NOT to blow insulation into interior walls. A repeatedly clogged machine, left them clearing their hose directly into my room. There were 3 ft drifts of insulation, laying against my walls & covering the floor. The room looked like it was snowing with insulation. It was a disastrous mess, that I am still cleaning up.

There were so many reasons I could of lost my mind. But, the owner swore they would clean it up. So I remained calm, took alot of deep breaths, smiled and said.

“I trust that you will take care of me. I’m sorry your new machine is giving you such a hard time. I am sure, It will all work out in the end.”

We were, at the tail end of the job. His guys had happily & professionally worked like dogs, all day, with no lunch, no complaints & no negative attitude, as we reached into, overtime hours.

Their positive attitudes, helped me stay positive & be forgiving of the mess. This made them want to do a good job for the nice lady. Instead of rush through & go home. We all worked together to clean up as much as possible & we all walked away having a good day.

On the same morning of that day, I was given an additional, unexpected test in patience. I had a week long guest, check out of my brand new room. During her stay, she damaged my brand new microwave, burned the varnish, in the wood, on my 6ft drop leaf table & left the linens covered in spills, dirt, dried food, & other unidentifiables, on every towel, sheet & comforter she used. It took me an entire bottle of oxy clean spray & Two hours, just to spot treat all the laundry & take pictures for airbnb.

I COULD NOT TAKE IT PERSONAL!!! I really wanted to, but, I am a business owner. To be successful, I must be loving, professional and give great customer service. It is a must, at all times.

I am proud and humbled to have a 5 star “super host” rating on Airbnb. My amazing guests are what make me great. They are everything to me.

I am lucky to say that only, .05% of my guests, give me a head ache. This day she was a migraine waiting to happen.

Unfortunately, these days, It only takes one low star rating & a bad review, to knock me off the top. It could take months to recover from it, even if it’s incorrect. It doesn’t matter, the world reads every word & comes to their own conclusion.

I AM HUMAN!!! So when I found my new room was damaged, I was personally offended, I wanted to throw a tantrum & become unreasonably petty. I had to take a few deep breaths & stop myself from acting in anger. ALL the little scenarios running through my mind, had to stay there. All the work and hours I put into building that room, made it hard for me to be professional.

I truly believe, if you don’t react negatively, to a negative situations, you will become empowered, by the out come. It’s important to be strong in your positions in life. It’s also important to know when it’s time to take someone by the collar and teach them why they should be more respectful of others. Just because your nice, doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat, for all the jerks , who want to step on you.

It was going to take hours of work to clean up & recover the damages, from this guests stay. This was the first time I had filed a damages claim with airbnb. I was only a day in and I already felt tortured, by the whole process.

I hate generally hate being the bitch, in any situation. BUT, I changed my mind, after the guest responded to my message, with no apologies and blamed all the damages on my previous guests. Then she really pissed me off, when she said, the disgusting laundry she left me, was to be expected for a week long stay. It was part of my job….

She helped me get over, worrying about her feelings.

I am so glad I partnered up with airbnb… They have the best policies & customer service. They stand behind, their hosts & their guests. They want everyone to feel protected, safe and happy, with their airbnb experience. Thank God ! their “host guarantee” covers damages incurred from a guests stay.

I’m 3 days into the process of filing a damages claim. The situation has really been a pain in my ass. This is one of those times, when having positive & caring people on your side, helps to keep you centered.

I have been once again impressed with how Airbnb is handling the challenge. After 72 hours airbnb takes over the case & becomes the mediator. They evaluate the situation & speak to all parties involved, before determining a fair and unbiased outcome.

Life so much easier, when your on the road with compassionate people.

Life is full of hard situations & people who are jerks.. But, If you make it a habit to practice patience & reach for the peaceful resolution. The outcome will most often, fall in your favor.

When you are loving and kind in life. People will fight for you, they will lookout for you, they will watch your back & give you endless moments of unexpected support. You will find your life is happier & full of love.

It’s a lot of work to be better than the Challenges you face. But it’s soooo worth it.

Strive to be the best version of yourself. Don’t be lazy. Anyone can be a bitch.. Get up and reach.

Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)

For me, a life focused on self growth & spiritual awareness is important.

I feel that, fault lines run deeper in the heart of those, who cast blame on others.

I believe hate only kills the heart of those who hold it.

While no man may be perfect, it never hurts to try and become the best version of yourself.

So for me, this is a year to be more gracious, to be kinder, to be forgiving, and to be willing to compromise my comforts and sacrifice everything to make it to my next goal.

This year I climbed the mountain. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done for myself. When I got to the top, I was so relieved to cross the finish line. I was Physically & emotionally exhausted… There ate no amount of tears that could of described the feelings. It was a bittersweet moment; my own personal victory.

Like many personal victories, even the ones publically shared. There is always that moment when you look around & see you are on this road alone. It’s yours and no one else’s. You, did this…

While relishing my victories, I must never forget, this couldn’t of happened, Without the help of others. I surpassed so many goals & accomplished sooo much, because there were so many people, who just reached out to me and gave me an unexpected, boost. One step at a time, it took them all to get me here. I am so forever humbled, by the friends I have been so blessed to have.

It’s been 2 weeks since I reached my goal & opened my next room.

Now, I make plans for the new year. I look to the next mountain. It’s so much bigger. The journey’s, seem to be getting harder and harder. As I look at this next year, I have to take a slow & deep breath. I would be lying if I said wasn’t afraid & nervous..

I am mentally preparing myself to expect the unexpected.. I know, with each step up this mountain, there will be more weight added to my pack. I am fearfully aware, I will be climbing in the dark, with no path, potentially by myself, finding my way into uncharted territory.

I know it will be hard, but the optimistic side of me will always win… so I say

“What’s the worst that can happen?? I fail…??? ”

It’s funny but the amazing thing is; every time I have failed at something in life, it has always worked to my benefit later. So I must believe, if I try my hardest, give until it hurts & never give up.. I will succeed.

Now I look to the future… I can see my dreams in the distance. There are so many ways to get there. Each day guides me into the next. I travel by faith alone. Praying that God keeps me strong and continues to provide me, with everything I need to make it up this next mountain.

In 2019 I will stand strong. I can do this, I will reach higher, I will try my hardest, everyday, to multiply my value 100 fold.

I will be Emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially willing to make the sacrifices I need to accomplish my dreams. I will not give up!!!

I pray I see you Traveling with me, down this road. My heart is so much greater with you in it. No journey would be complete, without a life filled with the love of family and friends.

Happy New Year!!! May you always be blessed, with a happy healthy prosperous life.

Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)