Author: debutont

Just a woman in search of self. Looking for meaning, direction & personal growth. Living each moment as if it were the last. Conquering fears & slaying dragons as I climb my own mountain, on my terms & forge my own path to create a life worth living. I created my blog hoping others will join me on my journey & forge their own path to pursue their lives & reach for dreams. The worlds a better place for those who have a dream.

At The Crossroads, Looking For Light

When I decided to build my business, there was no road for me to follow. I only had my ideas and my ambitions to guild me. I had no map telling me where to go, bad credit & barely any money. I only had my heart telling me to reach for the unknown and build.

My life has stood, on the edge of a cliff ever since; Taking one blind step at a time. Praying I wouldn’t fall.

I have to believe, if I have the courage to keep building. The road would just make itself, as I went. 1 brick, 1 paint stroke, 1 step, 1 more breath, 1 penny at a time. I could can do this.

It is the riskiest & scariest thing I have ever done; I go to sleep at night envisioning my next steps. Seeing all the possibilities, watching them play out in my mind. Over and over, until I find a way.

Nothing has ever felt so right. Now, when I’m faced with a failure or challenged by fear. I no longer want to quite or run. Instead I just take a moment to stop. I evaluate the problem, look for the message and wait for the answer to come.

I always have to remember, I started this crazy adventure because I was stuck in a snowstorm. My Life was turned upside down & I was about to lose it all. I had a choice, I could sit at home and cry about how horrible things were or I could be calm & embrace a quiet moment, alone in life, evaluating my options & looking for the answers.

I decided, I would do what I do best. I would enjoy the moment & believe that something amazing & beautiful was going to happen. I would believe that all good things will come from this. Thankyou God. For every end, there is a new beginning.

I believe this is true for everyone. If you you are going the right direction. If you stand strong, work hard and never give up. Everything things that could stop you, will miraculously move out of the way & let you pass.

I don’t mean take the carefree way & skip along life, not caring about anyone but yourself. I am saying be smart, listen to what your mind is telling you to do. We all have inner voices. They tell you all your options. You know when you are following the wrong path. You can feel it. You just have to learn to listen & choose the path that leads to a better life, for you and for the people around you.

I used to spend a lot of energy trying to make things work, forcing fate, pushing, pushing, pushing, only to watch it fail. I was taught if something is failing, it was because I wasn’t trying hard enough. I just needed to try harder & make it work. I no longer believe this is true. I now believe that if you work hard at something and it doesn’t succeed, it was not meant to be. I see failure as a sign, that I need to change directions and go another way.

Whether it’s a job, a relationship or a journey in life. The road you are suppose to be on will build itself, before you, it will appear below your feet and never let you fall.

It will be hard, but it will be so worth it. The answers won’t always come easy, but they are there. I’ve learned that with patience and strength I can achieve great things in life. You just need to be willing to take action, be willing to try & ok to fail, as you succeed.

I must never give up, on the things I believe in. During my moments of doubt; I must be willing to stand at every crossroad & patiently wait. I must use these moments, as an opportunity, to look back at the road I have built, knowing the rest is the best to come.

Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)

If You Build It!!!

When you have made big plans for life or your future.

Being insightful can be an amazing thing. It can save your life & help you be prepared for the future. It can also be one of the biggest reasons for failure.

For-thought Is often the reason people don’t try new things or follow their desires in life. They hesitate to start new careers, pursue relationships or reach for something great.

We are trained to fear failure. We are afraid to be let down. We want avoid the pain of a broken heart or the bruising of our ego. We don’t want anyone as a witness, as we fall on our face.

No one wants to be seen dieing before the world. A withered version of ourselves, something, less than amazing. So we leave, quit or don’t even try. We might even convince ourselves it’s better for everyone, if I just walk away & sit it this one out.

For-site, can destroy everything we have or it can lift an empire & build a world.

Everyday, I have to decide how I will let it effect me. Each time I am faced with it . I have to ask myself,

Am I making a mountain, out of a molehill?

Have I imagined a problem so big in my mind, that it’s going to make me quit. everything, every time, before I even try??

Am I going to miss out, on the most amazing thing I ever had, because I was afraid, I might fail or look bad?

In the past I might of answered yes to those questions. My freedoms in life, seemed limited. I had a family counting on me. Risking it all, to chase a dream seemed to risky. I often used them as an excuse not to try.

Now, that they are all grown up, it doesn’t matter as much. If I fail, I fail myself & no one else. I have no excuses, no reasons to quit.

It’s now time to commit myself to something, more. It’s time to stop worrying about things I can’t control.

I have to go to the city and apply for building permits, so I can add on 2 more bathrooms. I am so afraid of what I don’t know. I’ve been building my place, with advice from friends, in the industry, but I worry. What if the city gets mad at me, because I put in a couple of doors in my hallway, without asking or because I added a wall, without a permit. It wasn’t a structural change, so I am told it doesn’t matter. BUT,,, what if they were wrong???

I am afraid that, by trying to do things right, I might not get to do them at all. I am soooo afraid of the what if’s, that it’s holding me back and slowing my progress.

I know I just need to do it. It’s time to stand up! Face the storm with my hands in the air and pray;

“When the lightning strikes the sand, please let it transform this situation, into something great.”

And since I’m praying, Please let me make a few friends down at the city. I need some cheerleaders down there.

Debbie Smalley ( Deb’e)

My Life Building a Dream CH 14

Recently I have been found myself focusing on the complainers who occasionally come into my life. Thank God,,,, I don’t have many, but it only takes one picky person, to stink the place up, with their grouchy over entitled opinions.

My home is my business. 80% of my house operates as an Airbnb. If you are unfamiliar with what this is. It just means, I have converted my home into a hotel.

If you are familiar with airbnb, you know, the hosts and the guests rate each other, for each & every stay. The first 1 1/2 years I was opened, I averaged 5 stars 99% of the time. What an amazing feeling that is. I have always been lucky to love all my jobs & be good at them. But I have to say the stars seem so much brighter, when you build it yourself. I have been blessed, by every guest, that has stayed at my place. They are such a a gift!!!

In December 2018. I opened my second room. I’ve been averaging 90%. This is not horrible, but it is evidence that I need to work out some kinks, before I expand anymore.

I want my business & my life to be strong and constantly amazing. I need every change I make, to be a positive one. As I complete each phase, I need to step back and feel how that change is effecting everything and everyone. I must focus on consistently, giving my guests, that 5 star experience, as I expand. Listening to everyone’s opinion is so important during this process.

“It’s the grouchiest guest that gives the ugliest of opinions.”

They are the the hardest ones to listen to. They are usually angry & often callus with their approach. After I get over the shock & the verbal beating, I try to remove myself emotionally & focus on what they actually said, rather then how they say it. I have discovered, they are my favorite tool. I will use them, to help me. They will not be my enemy, they will be the secret spice, that keeps me great.

In my past career, I learned I could do everything right & still be occasionally faced with that guest; the one who probably should of stayed in a hotel, so they could pay extra to complain.

These types of guests complain about all the littlest things “after” they leave. They don’t message you and give you a chance to make them happy. They just go online and mark you down, because, well, that’s just what they do. They judge the world, with their little stars. Making everything and everyone, feel sub standard. Even if they are not.

They believe they have the right, to point out every little imperfections & tell you why, you did not meet up to their standards. They always do it publicly, without grace.

They types of people make your days less cheerful, your outings less fun & if your stuck with them, they could potentially make your life miserable.

It may sound strange, but, I can usually feel them coming, before they check in. I am often surprised, by their capacity to suck the happy from a day or a moment.

As my business gets busier and busier, I find myself meeting them more often. For businesses or individuals, public reviews can make you or break you.

The human, more naive side of me wishes, I could just, fix the bitch. My wiser, more realistic side, realizes; I could do everything right & she will still be there, somewhere, around every corner, just waiting to come out & challenge my day. No matter what I do.

The bitch, won’t go away!!!!

In life; I refuse to have a bad day!! I might have a bad moment or even a day filled with many bad moments; but I will NOT have a bad day.

After facing a couple of bad reviews, I realized; I could not let someone else’s negative opinion, steel my moment in the sun. I needed to face every complaint, true or untrue and use it to make my place & myself, better.

If I am truly going to be the best version of myself, then I must be willing to grow, reach and listen, to every word, from everyone. Especially that one. Even if it’s unfair.

So, Let the poison, be the cure!!! Us it as the medicine that makes you better.

Then get back up & reach!

When I opened my first room. I Invested a lot of time and energy, creating a place that felt peaceful. I wanted everyone to feel like they were getting a hug, when they entered the room. I was sooo happy that it worked.

When I opened my second room, I felt like I lost a little bit of that peacefulness. I realized having two groups of people staying at my home at the same time had added a challenge that I had not anticipated. I knew if I were going to keep my 5 star rating, I was going to have to make some big changes quick.

I immediately spent thousands of dollars in sound proofing. I ordered acoustic window inserts, upgraded insulation & worked on the ventilation. My place is a mile from the airport & Gowen Field airbase, so there will always be the sound of planes, trains and automobiles @ my house. However with that said, before I opened my second room, my guests always commented on how peaceful it was to stay at my place. As I expand, I need to do everything possible to not lose the quiet atmosphere I have worked so hard to create.

I make it a point to sit in my rooms when there are no guests. I listen to all the sounds and feel what it’s like to sit in my room & be the guest. As a business, I think it’s so important to observe, how any change you make, effects your customers & how they feel. They are after all, the life line that feeds your growth.

This lesson can be applied to anyone’s life or family. Any changes we make in our lives can effect our balance. If we don’t consider how changes effect those who are around us, then it will be hard to maintain a happy existence.

We should always strive to improve our lives in a way that positively impacts everyone. We need to listen to those who are telling us we need to do things better & always keep in mind that there are those people in life, who will never be happy, no matter what you do. Don’t waste your time trying to hard to please these types of people. They are inherently unhappy & always will be.

Strive to be better today, than you were yesterday & let tomorrow take care of itself.

Get up and reach!

Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)

Let The Bitches Make You Better

God Bless the Bitches!!! We hear them all the time… More & more, everyday. We are unfortunately, surrounded by them. They think they rule the moment. But only if we let them.

Don’t let them berate you, let them build you.

Don’t let them burn you, let them feed your flame.

Don’t let them belittle you, let them make you amazing.

Reach past them, pull yourself above their judgement.

Let them give you strength, to keep pushing, to keep reaching, to keep growing.

Whether they are in your face, in your head or in your life.

Take their power & use it as your lesson.

Walk over them, through them, past them & away from them.

Don’t let them break you, let them make you better.

God bless the bitch’s, for they are here to make us great!

Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)