Author: debutont

Just a woman in search of self. Looking for meaning, direction & personal growth. Living each moment as if it were the last. Conquering fears & slaying dragons as I climb my own mountain, on my terms & forge my own path to create a life worth living. I created my blog hoping others will join me on my journey & forge their own path to pursue their lives & reach for dreams. The worlds a better place for those who have a dream.

We’re Still Here!!

It’s been a year since my last post. Sometimes life sweeps us up and makes us lose focus, on who we are. It’s amazing what you can find, when your willing to just let go of control & get lost.

I have spent the last year, feeling a little tired and overwhelmed, by the obstacles in my life, that kept getting in my way. Every road that I went down, seemed to end with a wall. I felt like I was just going in circles, With no way forward. Every question, ending with the answer NO! I felt stuck in the mud, with no energy to get out.

It was an internal struggle with myself. Everyday,,,, work, work, work… Never moving forward, in a cycle that seemed like it was never going to end.

Then I remembered a the life saving lesson, that I learned, when I was being taught, how to swim. It changed my whole perspective on things.

The technique is, If you are in the water drowning. Don’t struggle, don’t fight, just relax, gently tread water & float, when your tired.

So I did. I made the decision, that I was going to stop the struggle, quiet the voice that drove me & float, until my life or God sent me a direction.

I was still working my 7 day week. But it was on my terms. I was rushing no where, waking up with no alarm clock & slowly chipping away, at the mountains, of my life.

My friend mentioned, That God told him, to just “Be Still & quite struggling with everything.”

It made me feel good to hear him say that. I had spent the last year, feeling like I was just being lazy or complacent. My inner voice was disappointed in the approach I was taking. Lol. Hearing him say that, made me feel like maybe there was value in complacency.

Things have changed ALOT, for all of us, in the last year. The whole world is getting shook by it’s feet & we are all being faced with new challenges & new destinations. We are ALL traveling down a very different road, without a map.

Although it very scary. Noone could of predicted, we would ALL be in the same boat, together.

I have oddly found a great sense of comfort and strength, in the struggle we are facing. The rise of good people, standing up to help, support & nurture each other, has touched my heart & given me hope for humanity.

I am not making light or ignoring the tragic & heartbreaking things happening everywhere. My heart breaks & weeps, for the loss & the suffering, we have all had to witness & endured.

Yet, in the struggle, my heart has lifted to the cry & I have risen up, to watch the weak get stronger & the tired gain strength. When I look at my last year & review where I was & where I stand now I realize, I have climbed so high. I have accomplished so much and helped so many.

I am proud, I am strong & I am still here. Alive & well… for that alone, I am truly Blessed. To have so little, feel like sooo much, is such a gift. I am so thankful, for every breath of air & every person I’m fortunate enough to meet.

Look for the good & fight for the weak. GET UP & REACH!!!!

May you and everyone you know. Be blessed with good health & protected safe from harm!!!

Deb’e (mywings.blog)

Just do it!!

So many starfish!!!! Sometimes you have to focus on the ones that hit your feet. Help the ones, god sends crashing across your path.
You might not be able to save the world. Everyone doing the right thing is enough to make a difference.
Be the change! Get up & Reach!!

    Summer Time!!!!

    Life is full of opportunities. It is an all you can eat buffet, just waiting for you to feast.

    The last couple years of my life, have been amazing. I risked it all & jumped, knowing that I could lose everything.

    I am so grateful that life pushed me into a corner & made me feel like I had no other choice.

    In less than 2 years I have completed 2 of my 4 financial goals.

    My goals:

    to get my home to pay for:

    *Itself- (house payment, utility’s )

    *My life- (food, gas, insurance, incidentals)

    *Expanding expenses- (cost of room renovations, home property improvement, home expansion.)

    *My retirement*

    This has been one of the hardest and most rewarding things I have ever done. It feels good knowing, that I could walk away tomorrow and sell my home & my business for twice its value ( If I needed or wanted)

    I am so proud of what I have accomplished on my own, in such a short period of time. With that said, I have to confess. Some of my biggest lessons in life, have been a lesson in Ego.

    The hardest thing for me to say is,

    “I am not Super Woman!!! I can not do it all myself. ”

    Oh how I wish this were not true. I wish I was stronger & faster. But alas, my body and my life are telling me different. I must admit, I am human & I can’t do everything. There are only so many hours in the day. If I want to do things right, then I need to prioritize and evaluate.

    what I am doing right

    -vs –

    what I am doing wrong.

    The quality of my life has to be as important as the quantity. I can’t be happy, if I don’t feel like I am doing a good job.

    Each time I expanded my business, It takes more time & effort to operate. In order to maintain a healthy existence, I need to balance things. If I give to much energy to, too many things. I will eventually lose quality, in EVERYTHING I do. My entire life & everything in it , will suffer.

    Growing pains are a good thing!!! They mean you are evolving. I am feeling these pains on a daily bases. I realized that if I want to continue to be happy & succeed, I need to make a few changes.

    I need to take somethings off my todo list.

    With that said; I am taking the summer off writing a, weekly, blog. I am sure I will still post things, when I have the time or the desire. I want it to be that things I do, because my heart feels compelled to do it.

    My blog, was started to keep me motivated & strong. It will always remain a source of strength for me. It will always be one of the positive things I do, to stay focused.

    I invite you to Spend the summer, reaching for a better life, for you and for others. Don’t sell yourself short.

    Be brave, Be strong, Be kind, Be compassionate & be willing to work hard and sacrifice for the things you believe in.

    Get up and reach for the rails!!!!

    Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)

    The Spider And The Moth

    On Easter, my Son and I were walking through the mountains picking sage. During our venture, we started looking for unusual rocks.

    We were walking up an area where the water would run off during heavy rains. A light flapping sound caught my sons attention. It was the sound of a large moth flapping its wings, as it tried to escape a spiders web.

    My instinct was to free the moth, until I saw a very large black widow come out from under the rocks. It was now a battle of life or death.

    I found myself struggling with my conscience. Do I/we intervene? Do we free the moth and save its life or do we save the spider & allow it to eat.

    My son, said “How do we know who’s good or bad.” I wasn’t sure.

    I replied “What if they are both good? Do we have the right to choose who should win? It is after all, the circle of life. If we interfere, what sort of changes will we make to the earth?”

    It was an oddly profound moment. I thought; Is this what it’s like to be God?. Looking down on the earth. Watching man kind, as we battle to survive, as we love, live & kill to survive. Is he as lost, in his decision to intervene.

    Bad things happen because , good people stand by and do nothing? Was this one of those moments?

    Who’s good, who’s bad? We unfairly judge each other based on appearance or on preconceived notions.

    We are taught to fear. We are taught the spider is bad because his appearance scares us. We are taught the moth/ butterfly is good, because its wings are beautiful & it flutters so peacefully, across the earth.

    In this moment, we decided that we didn’t have the right to decide. We should let the moth & the spider win or lose on their own terms.

    The moth lost. As we walked away, I was left with an uncertain feeling. Did we do the right thing?

    As we drove away, 7 hawks soared above the canyon. I pulled over the car. We spent another moment watching the beautiful theatrics, as the hawks swooped and played in the currents of the wind. It was another rare moment in nature, that left me realizing; This world is such an amazing place. Life, so beautiful, wild and free. We are blessed to be alive. We are blessed with consciousness. We are blessed to be anything we wish to be, in this magnificent world.

    Live in the moment & embrace each day. Get up and reach!!

    Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)