Your experiences in life aren’t about what happens to you; It’s about how you react to it. For me, there are only 2 paths in life. One leads to a life, where patience is a virtue. The other, finds me putting my hands through the phone, the computer screen or around the neck of every random jerk & deciding; Are they worth going to jail for?????
When faced with challenging situations, you have the choice; To take a deep breath, choose your words, use your wisdom, remain calm & be rational. Hoping for the most positive outcome; believing, that it will all be worth it in the end.
Or
You could, Walk the Green Mile, taking the path of least resistance & just let them have it. Give them the justifiable beating they deserve, not caring about the consequences.
It would be sooo easy!!! It might even feel good, to just dig a hole in the grove and get rid of your problem.
Lately, I often find myself, standing at the crossroads. The moment of great decision. The moment when I ask myself.
(Q.) Do I take the high road by practicing patience, acting in love & handling each situation without prejudgement?
(Q.) Do I take the time to change a negative situation, into something more positive; for everyone?
Or
(Q.) Do I take the negative situation I face and just wreck it…. just stoop to the cause & make it worse for everyone.
(Q.) Do I throw gas on the fire & turn the situation into a flaming inferno?
(Q.) Do I become so blinded, by anger and impatience , that I lose sight of who I am or who I want to be.
After re-reading this, the second path,,, though very tempting, sounds sooo amazingly destructive to my life & my goal to have a peaceful and happy life. Thank fully Forgiveness is the one thing I am very good at.
But let’s be honest; if not with others, than at least ourselves. We all have those times in our lives, when someone or something just pushes us to the edge of great decision. It’s that day, that week, that month & for some, those years; When everything and everyone in life, seems to be pushing you to break; it feels like a test, in patience.
You just want to lose it. The demons on your back, just begging you to cave in.
Do you Lose it????
You really could take that phrase literally, in every sense of the word, for when it happens, when you lose it, you often risk losing it all; Your friends, your job, your ability to have a good life. You lose, peace, love & joy; You also create a negative environment for yourself and everyone around you. You become the thing you were fighting against.
For some, losing it, is a very rare thing. It’s just a temporary lose of control, most often followed by an apology.
Then there are the others. The people who slowly slip down the low road. It is their way of life. They are truly just a bitch, about everything. They are that person who makes every moment miserable. They are the one, who makes you relieved when they leave the room. You don’t miss them when there gone & chances are, they suck the life life out of everything they touch. They are the person who makes everything worse. They are not a pleasure to be around. No one wants to help them & coincidentally their life seems like a wreck. It’s just one bad moment after another. & laughably so, they often believe it’s everyone else’s fault. They are sooo twisted by truth, in there own mind. They justify their mistakes & lack the ability to apologize or accept responsibility for their own miserable life. They are their own worst enemy.
In the last couple of months, I have been challenged with many moments of personal growth.
Last week, it was especially hard for me to maintain my patience level & practice forgiveness. I had 2 situations, that were just begging me to lose my cool. I had friends cheering me on & agreeing that I had every right to jump on the low road, become the bitch, kick some ass, dig a hole & throw them in it!!! But, I didn’t & in the end it worked to my benefit.
I had an insulation company,,,, owned by a couple of friendly likable guys (this saved their life).
We had numerous misunderstandings & miscommunications about the job, the estimate, the date it was supposed to be done. What they were doing & anything else you could think of. One guy blamed the other & vice versa. It was a challenging week.
They were half way through the job, when a “new machine that they had never used”, gave us all a lesson, in how NOT to blow insulation into interior walls. A repeatedly clogged machine, left them clearing their hose directly into my room. There were 3 ft drifts of insulation, laying against my walls & covering the floor. The room looked like it was snowing with insulation. It was a disastrous mess, that I am still cleaning up.
There were so many reasons I could of lost my mind. But, the owner swore they would clean it up. So I remained calm, took alot of deep breaths, smiled and said.
“I trust that you will take care of me. I’m sorry your new machine is giving you such a hard time. I am sure, It will all work out in the end.”
We were, at the tail end of the job. His guys had happily & professionally worked like dogs, all day, with no lunch, no complaints & no negative attitude, as we reached into, overtime hours.
Their positive attitudes, helped me stay positive & be forgiving of the mess. This made them want to do a good job for the nice lady. Instead of rush through & go home. We all worked together to clean up as much as possible & we all walked away having a good day.
On the same morning of that day, I was given an additional, unexpected test in patience. I had a week long guest, check out of my brand new room. During her stay, she damaged my brand new microwave, burned the varnish, in the wood, on my 6ft drop leaf table & left the linens covered in spills, dirt, dried food, & other unidentifiables, on every towel, sheet & comforter she used. It took me an entire bottle of oxy clean spray & Two hours, just to spot treat all the laundry & take pictures for airbnb.
I COULD NOT TAKE IT PERSONAL!!! I really wanted to, but, I am a business owner. To be successful, I must be loving, professional and give great customer service. It is a must, at all times.
I am proud and humbled to have a 5 star “super host” rating on Airbnb. My amazing guests are what make me great. They are everything to me.
I am lucky to say that only, .05% of my guests, give me a head ache. This day she was a migraine waiting to happen.
Unfortunately, these days, It only takes one low star rating & a bad review, to knock me off the top. It could take months to recover from it, even if it’s incorrect. It doesn’t matter, the world reads every word & comes to their own conclusion.
I AM HUMAN!!! So when I found my new room was damaged, I was personally offended, I wanted to throw a tantrum & become unreasonably petty. I had to take a few deep breaths & stop myself from acting in anger. ALL the little scenarios running through my mind, had to stay there. All the work and hours I put into building that room, made it hard for me to be professional.
I truly believe, if you don’t react negatively, to a negative situations, you will become empowered, by the out come. It’s important to be strong in your positions in life. It’s also important to know when it’s time to take someone by the collar and teach them why they should be more respectful of others. Just because your nice, doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat, for all the jerks , who want to step on you.
It was going to take hours of work to clean up & recover the damages, from this guests stay. This was the first time I had filed a damages claim with airbnb. I was only a day in and I already felt tortured, by the whole process.
I hate generally hate being the bitch, in any situation. BUT, I changed my mind, after the guest responded to my message, with no apologies and blamed all the damages on my previous guests. Then she really pissed me off, when she said, the disgusting laundry she left me, was to be expected for a week long stay. It was part of my job….
She helped me get over, worrying about her feelings.
I am so glad I partnered up with airbnb… They have the best policies & customer service. They stand behind, their hosts & their guests. They want everyone to feel protected, safe and happy, with their airbnb experience. Thank God ! their “host guarantee” covers damages incurred from a guests stay.
I’m 3 days into the process of filing a damages claim. The situation has really been a pain in my ass. This is one of those times, when having positive & caring people on your side, helps to keep you centered.
I have been once again impressed with how Airbnb is handling the challenge. After 72 hours airbnb takes over the case & becomes the mediator. They evaluate the situation & speak to all parties involved, before determining a fair and unbiased outcome.
Life so much easier, when your on the road with compassionate people.
Life is full of hard situations & people who are jerks.. But, If you make it a habit to practice patience & reach for the peaceful resolution. The outcome will most often, fall in your favor.
When you are loving and kind in life. People will fight for you, they will lookout for you, they will watch your back & give you endless moments of unexpected support. You will find your life is happier & full of love.
It’s a lot of work to be better than the Challenges you face. But it’s soooo worth it.
Strive to be the best version of yourself. Don’t be lazy. Anyone can be a bitch.. Get up and reach.
Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)
mywings.blog 