Today, I am at a standstill. Sometimes, I feel like I am standing in a sea of indecision.
There are so many things I could or should do, to move forward. I hate committing to any solid idea, because I know everything I do is just a rough draft that I am praying will work. Until I can find a way to do it better or someone comes along and says I love this idea, can I help you make it stronger. Lol
It would be so easy for me to just sit idle, making no decisions at all. It would be completely reasonable to use my lack of funds, as an excuse to stay in my current situation & go no further. I have done sooo much this year. I could truly quit right now and call it a victory!!!
But this years goal, was to get my property to pay for my life. Everyone knows I have 3 financial goals.
1st goal- my property pays for itself
2nd goal- my property pays for itself & for my life expenses.
3rd goal- my property pays for itself, my life, my retirement & savings for the future.
My property is going to sustain me!!!
In the first year I made it to my first goal, on my first month in business. For the rest of the year I went on to hit that mark about 40-50% of the time… I am not an economist but I know, it is a great success, to turn a profit in the first year. So I counted it as a victory and took it as a sign that I was on the right track.
Now in my blonde business mind, I say ,,, I hit my first goal enough times this year, that I need to raise the bar & try to hit my 2nd goal.
2nd goal, 2nd year… Why not??? What’s the worst that can happen? I don’t make it??? Who cares?? I’m still further ahead, than I was before & by trying to hit my second goal, I might hit my 1st goal 100%.
So let try, it will be fun. Lol
If I am indeed going to hit my 2nd financial goal, I need my 3rd website up, running & generating income by October. Hahahaha… I know It’s going to be a lot of work. But I am going to try like hell to make it happen. Through slivers and tears with hopes and fears. I will do this, with or without help. I’m moving forward.
I write in my blog to give myself accountability. It’s easy to talk the talk and tell people what you would like to do… but just talk, with no action or sacrifice, will get me nowhere. Telling the world what I am doing, makes it harder to quite. So, I throw myself on the stage, so I don’t back out. I will use my vanity, to fuel my purpose.
I don’t want to be just another daydreamer, dreaming my life away & accomplishing nothing. Life is too short and uncertain, to waste the minutes & moments, wishing your life away, but doing absolutely nothing about it.
I have recently had a lot of friends & family, dying around me. I want to grab them and say ” wait… don’t go yet!!!… we still have so much we didn’t do!!! ”
We got distracted by excuses. We were so busy talking & dreaming about our plans for life,,,, that we forgot to live it, we missed it all!!! The trips almost over & we didn’t accomplish our dreams.
This has compelled me to reach harder, for those who can’t & quite assuming I have years left in my lifetime. I could be gone tomorrow, I must leave behind me, a path worth traveling. Something that others can find worthy. Even if it’s just a piece of inspiration.
I see others, including myself, who have moments of being stuck. “Like I feel today”.. We aren’t dead yet, but we are stuck waiting for the road to tell us what to do, where to go or just struggling, with how to get there.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where I am going & it’s silly for me to pretend I do. I want to shout out to everyone, who wants to know, what I am doing. I have absolutely no idea. I don’t know , how I am going to do it. I just know am going to do it. I also know, I am making it so I can operate my business from anywhere. I will be able leave anytime, for as long as I wish and it will pay for itself.
I am completely aware that I am building my dream, using my tree house construction skills to get me there. What does this mean? It means I am not going to take myself too seriously. I am going to play with every idea and have fun doing it.
Do you remember when you were a child. You found the perfect tree & you believed you could make the perfect tree house. In everyone’s mind, it would be the perfect place to live. All you needed, was a few nails, a hammer & any random scrapes you could find to make it work. Nothing was impossible.
Then it began… 1st you grab a board nail it to the tree and take a step up.. Grab another board, that doesn’t match, nail it in and take another step up. The only goal, was to build a ladder & to the top. It wasn’t the perfect ladder, but it worked & it got you there.
I am making that ladder in life. I have the plan to someday go back, when I have the time and the money to pay someone else to do it the right, But until the I will not stop. I will use what means I have to get me to the top. It is my only focus. I can not worry about the things I can not change or what anyone else thinks. I can’t wait for someone, to hand me the perfect plate of money, to make the perfect dream.. I have to rough my way through it, making discoveries & hoping for miracles, as I go about my way!!!
For now, for this year.. I need to do what ever it takes, legally :), to generate the income I need to meet my 2nd financial goal.
This weeks goal is to to create the coolest, camping bathroom in the history of histories. It will exsist in storage unit of my garage. It’s going to look like a real bathroom & work as a temporary solution, until I can afford the real deal. Some people might snub their nose at the idea, but pish posh to them..
I must be willing to sacrifice if I am going to make this happen. This year, I will sadly go back to sleeping on my couch for a short period of time & I will have minimal access to a traditional bath. It’s going to be an adventurous winter. It will humble me and make me grateful, for what I have.
If I start to feel sorry for myself. I will remember all the people who are out in the cold homeless or displaced in life.. Then I will Feel lucky to have a home, a roof, a choice, the freedom to live every moment, realizing that the only boundaries I really have, are the ones I create for myself.
Perfectly, imperfect is a wonderful place to be!!! Work hard and make sacrifices.
Love your life & the people who are in it. embrace every minute, Get up & Reach for one more moment, Live your life until it’s gone… !!!!!
Debbie Smalley ( Deb’e)
mywings.blog 