week 3-
The snow storm was not letting up. For safety reasons, The Nampa School District, kept calling for snow days. We were all uncertain how much longer it would continue. The economy was looking pretty grim, for a lot of people. Idaho was now considered , a State of Emergency.
I am from South Dakota, so I was raised to endure a snowy moment. I was also enjoying and embracing, this mandatory time at home. It was exactly what my soul needed. Time…. Time to just to stop the world, get off and get out of the daily grind. Time to just think, pray and meditate on my existence. I realized that, that is exactly what I had been doing for my entire life. Well most of it. I was just existing, not living, not exploring my dreams, not searching my heart, not listening to my inner voice who was screaming to get out.
I was happy, but I was not content and I was not perusing life, nor was I following the signs my life was often giving me. I was ignoring them and covering it with excuses, why I couldn’t or why I shouldn’t. Usually it was family, lack of time, lack of money & truthfully, lack of emotional support, in my relationships & in myself, that kept me from ever fully committing to anything.
My quiet time in the storm, alone with myself. Gave me great perspective & it made me face the one person in life that I often ignored, disregarded and overlooked. It made me, face myself. When I started to paint, think and listen to myself. I realized for the first time, that I was really one of the smartest people I knew. Not scholastically. Lol…. But spiritually, I was smart, beautiful, strong & capable to do anything I put my mind to, I just needed to , shut up and listen to myself!!! I needed to follow my heart and trust it. It had all the answers and it was full of life and love, just waiting for me to let go. All I needed to do was jump with faith and believe that God had a plan, that was bigger & better than anything I could of ever dreamed for myself.
My boss suggested we all go & file for unemployment, just incase the storm continued. This would be the first time in my life, I filed & qualified for unemployment.
” Sometimes Miracles in life, come disguised as disasters.”
We all went back to work the following week. I didn’t receive any benefits from the unemployment office. However, I was now in the system as “qualified”, for a year. This would become important to me later.
The school I worked at, was in the middle of changing ownership. The snow storm, along with the new name change, had really slowed things down. The bottom line was, at the bottom of the line. This meant, we had to lower our overhead & still maintain staff. We were “all” losing hours.
This is not a complaint. It was just what had to happen. It had too. We were a family business, we all understood what we had to do. For me it was all going to be ok. I had made some real decision while I was at home. I would no longer worry for my future. I was going to be calm & take control of my life. When I came back from my snowcation, I was revitalized, confident and excited to start my new plans in life. I considered, the extra time off as an opportunity to take action & start tearing things out and fixing things up.
With my new mindset. I had to quit sitting by and letting life happen. It was my life!!! No one else’s. I needed to take control of my future. Listen to were God was telling me to go & build my own destiny. This meant there were no wasted minutes. NON!!!
“Theres plenty of time to sleep when your dead!!!”
That was my new modo … I was now listening to my heart, she was the new boss. She runs the show & man she is a drill sergeant & a bitch… Her expectations are ridiculous. Her lists of things to do, have lists of things to do. Oh and she wants it done now & for as little money as possible. AND in her true Mother Nature form. I am and will be doing it all with, ZEN in my heart. I will not rush, I will enjoy each moment and I will be calm and trust the process.
MEANWHILE!!! LOL ( I want to kick her ass sooo bad, sometimes!!! She is a real slave driver. I just want her to shut up and let me have a lazy minute. I want to sleep, watch TV and eat cake. )
Instead … My plan—??? I would work my normal job during the day & I would build my airbnb before work, after work and on the weekends. It would be a lot of hours & A lot of hard work, but I could do it. I just needed to roll up my sleeves, dig deep & figure it out as I went. I truly could, sleep when I’m dead.
I had a $3,000 budget. If I was going to build a dream on a penny; I would have to do it all myself, I would have to be, the construction crew, the manager, the designer & the architect.
“I would have to be brave, confident & inventive. I was going to have to stretch a buck and pound a penny.”
My airbnb, had to look nice, feel comfortable & be a relaxing place, that made people want to come back, again & again. It had to feel like home. It had to be a place of solis for me, as well as my guests.
This was my home & I was determined to build an environment that captured my heart & my spirit in life. A place that wrapped you in love, the moment you pulled up.
” In life: You get what you project”
I refused to get stressed out & worry about the decisions. I was going to put love into whatever I was doing. I would take it one moment at a time & I would make it work;
I would not worry, instead I would pray & give it to God. If it was meant to be, it would be. I was going to have faith in my dream and in my ability to build it. I just needed to take what I knew & be willing to Learn what I didn’t. The answers would come as I needed them to. I was now living the day I was given, listening to my heart and following the signs.
“It is sooo freeing to just jump and fall into life with no worries or fears about what’s at the bottom. My obsession with the sky & my need to embrace the day & each breath, as if it were the last. Comes from my beliefs in life. It is about the journey. If life’s tough, which it always is… Just smile, take a deep breath, look up & enjoy the fall, until the very last minute”
my plan:::???
Make a list of goals. Little to big, Short term to long term and I would do so while keeping one objective, at all times.
I am & would, create an environment, instead of a business. I would build a dream, around my life & I would love, love , love, my way through it, with no fear. I would believe with all my heart & soul, that this was going to be the most amazing thing, I had ever done. I would create a peaceful, place to stay for everyone in my life, including myself. I would spend the rest of my life leading from my heart & living from my heart.
I would visualize it… I would see it & Dream it…. No one would try to stop me. instead, I prayed, everyone would see me, love me, believe in me and they would try to help me. Together, we would & could build a dream. We would build a place that everyone wanted to be and a place that everyone loved. A place that was filled with heart & everything that was me.
“All good things will come from this Thankyou God!! ”
Debbie Smalley ( Deb’e)
Up next: Ch4 Building the Dream,
Let the bleeding begin. Lol
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