My life, Building Dreams CH. 1
I’ve always been a dreamer. My brain has always chased the million dollar idea. I have paid patent attorneys, created business plans, met with designers & gone to banks. I have always loved the process of inventing a business, the excitement of the chase.
I just love to pursue the little ideas. I would invest as much time & money as my life & family would let me. I’d build it, play with it & dream. Then life would get in the way & allow for no more.
I had to be practical, I had to be a mom, a significant other, I had to go to work & run a household. So my dreams came last & could only be pursued, when I had the extra time to play.
Years later, the kids are grown and gone, My significant other turned out to be, not so significant & there I am, just living a life on the road I ended up on. I was happy. But I wasnt living, I was just existing. Somehow, somewhere, something thing in me was completely missing.
In January of 2017, there was a very large snowstorm that lasted 3 weeks. Due to weather, school was cancelled and I was left, unable to work. 3 weeks at home with no pay and only a week of vacation time to cover my bills. What was I going to do.
I was 48. I had picked a career of teaching for the love of it & not the money. After 26 years of breaking my body on cement floors , All that I had was a mortgage & a very little retirement fund that looked more like a savings account. I was broke, lost & worried for my future.
This snow storm could have destroyed me. But instead it became, the most amazing & transitional moment in my life.
(I had 2 options.)
I could spend 3 weeks playing a weak victim, crying, complaining, worrying about money and bills. I could just give up, lose everything and spend years dwelling on the horrible circumstances that ruined my life.
Or
I could spend 3 weeks, standing strong. I could embrace the moment, pray for guidance & rethink my life, my job & my retirement plan, because I had none.
I decided I would fight, I would embrace the day!!! I would see the silver lining. I would take advantage of the time & use it to gain strength & create new opportunities for myself. Infact, I was not only going to survive this snow storm. I was going to come out, bigger, better and stronger because of it. I would rise above it!!! I would be the Phoenix.
I had to be willing to risk it all, to change my life. I was going to have to, dig deep & rediscover who I was. I needed to forget the mom, the teacher, the person society created. I needed to break the mold on my old life, stomp on it & throw it to the wind. I had to forget who I was & remember who I used to be, what fed my soul and made my spirit fly. I needed to follow my heart & I needed to stop procrastinating all the things I had been wanting to do. I had start acting on my dreams, feeding my ideas & supporting the part of my life that I had locked away. I had to “reopen” my box of dreams & commit.
After 15 years of procrastinating, I dusted off the paintbrushes, that I had put down so many years before & I began to paint whatever poured from my soul & my dreams. I just freed my mind & went looking for answers & a plan for my new life.
(in my mind I pondered & prayed)
“What could I do?? What could I be??? Could I financially survive long enough to even make it happen??? I was all by myself, could I do it all alone??? Who really was I??? Oh God please help me, find my way.”
(To be cont. next week)
What I did and how I did it!
Debbie Smalley (Deb’e)
mywings.blog 